Week 102: up 2 pounds (-59 pounds total!)
Good morning, Hot Man Dieteers! A belated Happy 2nd Anniversary to you all! Silly me. I completely missed a major milestone. Happy Anniversary!
So…unless you’ve been hiding under a rock (or are new to the HMD family, in which case I wish you a hearty hello!) you know that I have a rather major realization still needing/wanting/waiting to be revealed. Fear not, my chitlins - the time is nigh. Today is the day. The moment has come. It is my belated anniversary gift to you. Are you sitting down?
(A small part of me fears I may have pumped this disclosure up a tad much…will you be disappointed? Will you be unmoved? Eeeck and egads!)
My weight loss, stalled at present though it may be, has brought forth any number of blessings, some expected, some a pleasant surprise. Among the latter is the physical buoyancy and agilityI now possess courtesy of a years plus worth of butt kicking cardio and weight training (thanks Eileen!). The ease with which I move through the world
delights me to no end. For those of you who have never been significantly overweight or out of shape this may seem an exaggeration. Trust me - it is not. 60 pounds is a cumbersome load, no matter your strength, no matter your height, no matter your anything. My movements, once heavy and leaden, are now light and, dare I say it, graceful. My body now does what I want instead of the other way around. It is so awesome, such a great side benefit of this whole endeavor. I love it, and I deserve it. I busted my ass to earn it. Go me!
But the revelation?
Kids, I thought I knew why I was here. I started Hot Man Diet with the clearest of Mantentions - I would use Hot Men to help create a Hot Me so I could snag a Hot Man. Simple, right? Perfectly simple. A direct path leading to a desired goal. And yeah, if along the way I also got “healthier” and “happier” and “more confident” that would all be icing on my Hotcake. That was why I was here. That was why we were all here. But a funny thing happened on the way to Manjoyment. On my way to becoming a Hot Me I have instead become something else. I’ve become a sex machine.
Whaaa???!!!!
(Now - this is typically the moment where I would politely ask my mother and/or anyone who knows my mother, is in frequent contact with my mother or attends church with my mother to STOP READING NOW. But whatever, we’re all adults here, aren’t we? Besides, I’m a grown ass woman who has grown ass woman needs and this grown ass woman needs this, mmkay? So Mom, it is your call. Just don’t call me if’n you don’t like the call you make.)
I HAVE BECOME A SEX MACHINE.
Kids, Her Hotness has become a whiz in the sack. I’m not being boastful, I’m not here to brag, I simply must call a spade a spade and this spade knows what in the hell she’s doing under the sheets! Whoa nelly! I can’t help it, and I don’t know when exactly this change occurred…you’ve heard me talk before about my great sexpectations…you know how much I pride myself on being American…and by gum you’re now all intimately familiar with Talent and Ambition, so this news shouldn’t be too out of left field. Here’s what happened - take a gal with a lifelong tendency to be surprisingly flexible and add the strength, endurance, agility and muscle control of a years plus worth of butt kicking cardio and weight training and you have a SEX MACHINE! 
And so even though two pounds may creep up here and there (again I ask for you to trust me - next week’s results will NOT continue this trend!), even though my spirits may sometimes wax and wane, I have to admit that things are pretty damn good for me right now. I am a SEX MACHINE. How can I complain?
Get up, get on up
Get up, get on up
Stay on the scene, like a sex machine
Woo hooo!!!!!!!!!
Hot Manspiration of the Week: Someone needs to tell my Secret Weapon about Hot Man Diet Requests and Dedications, because this week she has been all up in my face about one particular piece of Mancandy she’s jonesing for. The following text was sent to me at 7:20 am (7:20 AM!!!): “Please - Jason Statham doing human flag! Look it up & die! Please this Friday 4 me? I will luv you 4ever!” My god, woman, calm down! And yes, yes, of course I will do the Jason Statham human flag pic for you, you who are responsible for at least 40 of my 60 pounds lost with your years plus worth of butt kicking cardio and weight training (thanks Eileen!). Rules, schmules. Anything for you. Here is your human flag (plus one). Your human flag of Hotness. Let your Hot flag fly!